Tantric Disposition Matrix

'One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star'- Nietzsche

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I. Son’s Electric Kazoo Waltz
The System is the Solution.
Bell, the next best thing to ablution.
The Joy of Sex, a bestseller,
no doubt to be found
any middleclass kitchen next to the cereal box –
today Mother will stuff soybeaned-beef into prophylactics
for supper while she hums, mumbles and murmurs –
perhaps wooing the icebox.
Lately she hardly ever talks
about anything but equality for dames –
she keeps a list in her brassiere of emancipated names
which she sputters,
while Pop, a traditional Hero: that is, the usual breadwinner
with a malfunctioning, though stylish, joie de vivre
on Saturday mornings for 5 minutes after breakfast,
meekly mutters
as he butters
a cinnamon donut hole with a white plastic knife.
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Under a red and rolling sky

as haunted as a Rorschach blot

Energy finds the middle eye

and gleans the epiphanal polyglot.

Now rose, now lavender and gold,

the clouds combust and burn away

shimmering light bursts through: behold —

the awakening we call day.

O, this grey pulpy mass of brain

like a recalcitrant ghost

ratlles the mental window pane

where dull memory stands engrossed.

Yet is shaken from sleep again 

as the Sun rises like the blessed host

and gives the middle eye a toast.

  • John Kendall Hawkins


On an overcast day

a sunflower droops his head to snooze

and dreams nervously of his idol.

When I wake up

and drowsily lift my face

will I see your flashing eyes?

(Groton, 1976)



When the springtime shows up with its sunshine,
Then the little flowers burgeon and bloom;
When the moon begins her luminous course,
Then the little stars swim in behind;
When the poet sees two sweet little eyes,
Then songs gush forth from the depths of his soul;–
But yet songs and stars and little flowers
And little eyes and moonlight and sunshine,
No matter how pleasing all this stuff is,
It’s far from being the whole world.
-Heinrich Heine, Buch der Lieder (1827), trans. John Kendall Hawkins approx. Summer 1974.